Suicide prevention: A personal story and how to get help

Popular WISH TV news reporter Rick Dawson took his own life in 2013.

You’ve probably heard about the national 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number. It is super easy to remember, by design, and you’ll probably see it in all the places you used to see the crisis text number: restrooms, clinics, high school hallways. The 988 number, the text number, and some other remarkably ingenious ways to intervene on behalf of a person contemplating taking their own life will hopefully continue to save many lives.

But this article is not about those things. This article is about the people we love who are untouched by these efforts because they do not seek them. This article is about people like my husband, journalist Rick Dawson.

September is a busy time for me, deemed National Suicide Prevention Month. I’m frequently asked to speak about the suicide crisis in this country because I. Just. Won’t. Shut. Up. About. It. It’s also the month of the anniversary of Rick’s death, the month of our wedding anniversary, as well as the month for some close family members’ birthdays. I work hard to make it a positive time.

My loving, funny, talented husband killed himself in 2013 because he suffered from depression. The man I married was a happy, adventurous guy who loved learning new things, loved to travel, loved his three children desperately, and LOVED telling a story. Depression was the greatest of the factors that folded into the picture of the man Rick had become before his death; ultimately it was his sense of personal failure, his loss of hope that stole any light that could have lifted him out of it.

I can't express enough how much Rick loved his reporting job at WISH TV. While he spent quite a bit of time on the anchor desk, Rick always preferred the story-telling part of the gig. Whether it was general assignment or investigative work, crafting the story brought him incredible satisfaction. The process of creating with words and pictures and sound, the partnerships with photographers and editors, informed his personal value day in and day out.

I don't think either he or I realized how much of his sense of being was tied to his role as a reporter until he lost it. When months, then half a year, then a year went by and no one answered his requests for job interviews, when it became apparent that his resume wasn't going to get him that next career position, his heart broke. And mine broke, too.

The day Rick chose to kill himself was no different than the hundreds of days we'd experienced leading up to it, and I had no reason to believe it would be any different than the hundreds that stretched out before us. I am learning to live with not knowing.

Here are some stats from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

• 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year

• 1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year

• 1 in 6 U.S. youths aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year

• 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24

• Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 10-14

Let’s talk about love, guilt, and never knowing.

Contrary to what we wish, in the thick of things, love does not conquer all. Love does not conquer intimate crises like depression, addiction, and other undiagnosed/unaddressed mental health issues. We cannot will our people into wellness simply through love. As with so many trials in our lives, they must be conquered from within, through resources sought out, and by the time you realize a loved one is struggling, they are likely deep in the throes of their crisis. Don’t give up.

Men are particularly affected by this, as the stats show, for many reasons, but they are not alone in the despair that leads people to suicide. But let’s face it, our American culture still values strength and independence over vulnerability and self-care — for now.

So many who’ve lost someone to suicide feel guilty. Did they do something wrong? Could they have saved their loved one if they’d just done something different?

Many people who live with the deep despair that leads to suicide will not talk about it. Men in this country do not discuss their emotions in the same ways women do, and the stats show it. There is no blame here, but there is an opportunity for change.

What can we do differently to change these outcomes? So many things!

• Encourage connection, all the time. Isolation can lead to a lonely mental space that’s difficult to escape.

• Encourage discussion without judgment. No one wants to feel like they’re failing.

• Encourage accessing good mental healthcare. Telehealth options have made this easier than ever!

• Encourage everyone in your life, but especially young people, to advocate for their own mental wellness and support research into mental health concerns. This is how we will change the stigma of mental health issues and save more lives.

Click here for the Suicide Prevention website: https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox

This story previously appeared on www.Indymaven.com. Indy Maven is a lifestyle media company that offers lifestyle content to women in the greater Indianapolis area.

Shannon Cagle, the Weekend Gardener for Great Day TV, is the producer of “The Working Hungry' films and continues to support her long career in broadcast journalism through various projects such as the Indiana Debate Commission. She is a former freelance media producer at WFYI.

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